Offbeat

It takes a certain type of man to pimp out a cheap car and it's usually a man with limited funds having absolutely no luck with the ladies. Rather than saving up to buy a decent car, these dudes actually waste a bunch of money making their existing crappy car look even crappier and it makes their problems with the ladies even worse. Maybe one day these poor schleprocks will realize that a woman doesn't care about the size of your spoiler, but I doubt it. Occasionally thrown into the mix are creative type folks that don't take themselves or their cars too seriously and want to have a bit of fun. Whatever the case may be, here are 25 of the worst pimped-out rides of all time. 

Winning the lottery is something that everyone has dreamt about. Even those who stand up proudly and announce "I have never bought a ticket!", as if this proclamation of financial chastity will win them a shiny bicycle that only rides to heaven, have at some point said, "If I won the lottery, I'd do/buy/go ______." One thing you never hear is an honest answer from a complete addict. Someone who buys multiple tickets, every week of every year, thinking that their ship is right around the corner of that 7-11 checkout counter. I bet if you took a survey on the reason for the secrecy, the box, "I don't want to total up how much I've wasted." would get a lot of check-marks.

To point out how much one can waste on this game of (there's-almost-no) chance, students from the R.I. School of Design created an exhibit called "Ghost of a Dream". It's a collection of sculptures constructed out of old lottery tickets (like this full-size Hummer H3) meant to depict the purchases of potential winners. It's like being scolded by your parents if they had both a master's in sarcasm and art. Ouch. Make the jump for the story.

Racing teams being integrated into their sponsors’ promotions is hardly an unusual phenomenon. Why? Because the practice tends to get attention from fans and non-fans alike. Who wouldn’t want a chance to win a lifetime supply of lumber if Jimmie Johnson wins the Lowe’s 500, or be willing to swim through the world’s biggest Slurpee in search of the golden ticket that will make you one of Tony Kanaan’s honorary pit crew members for a weekend?

In all seriousness, though, not all team/sponsor collaborations are created equal. And to paraphrase Snowball the Pig, the marketing stunt dreamt up by Japanese office machine juggernaut Epson seen in the above and following photos is more equal than most of the promo schemes we can recall seeing. Why is that? It’s the mother of all papercraft models.

A bicycle is a fun and eco-friendly means of transportation, but it does have its drawbacks. These include being exposed to the elements (wind, rain, snow, spray-tanned soccer-MILFs trying to referee the urchins in the backseat rather than watching the road ahead of their three-ton SUV, etc.) and giving many passersby the impression, rightly or wrongly, that you are a) too poor to afford a motorized conveyance or b)of the opinion that wearing genital-asphyxiating spandex drawers and being pumped full of more hormones than an adolescent rabbit makes you feel empowered and “totally awesome” like your cousin Floyd. 

Whatever the case may be, human-powered conveyances and their operators are generally looked down upon by the motor vehicle set. But what if there was a pedal-powered ride that featured not only four wheels and an enclosed body, but the looks of a famous German sports car? Would the world still be laughing at you rather than with you?

The dream of owning a Lamborghini is one held by many a petrolhead, but only a small fraction of such enthusiasts have the financial bona fides to make that dream a reality. What do folks do if they still really, really want to rock a Lambo? Many buy a kit to rebody a Fiero or some other cheap platform to create a car with the looks (if not the proportions or performance) of the real McCoy. Others build their Raging Bull tributes from the ground up. Ken Imhoff belongs to this latter group, and so does Chen Jenmiao.

Chen, a 25-year-old mechanic from Chenzhou City, China, apparently decided if he couldn’t buy his dream car, he’d build it, or at least something that resembles it. So with roughly $3,000 worth of material and fabrication skills in hand, he set to work. How did it turn out? Well…have a look for yourself after the jump.

While it’s hard to label the Russian nouveau riche’s consumption anything other than conspicuous, it is getting harder and harder for the vast nation’s overnight millionaires to stand out from the crowd, particularly when it comes to their cars. Now before you go shedding crocodile tears for the Motherland’s loaded, gaze upon the creation that is the Bentley Suitcase Croco.

Sure, it looks like real crocodile hide but, ironically, it’s actually the skin of one of the Nile Crocodile’s natural prey, the African Buffalo. Doesn’t that just make you lay an egg? Anyway, the buffalo leather is embossed with a crocodile-esque pattern and painted the correct colors, processes that took the men behind the project – Igor Kozin, Robert Mauser, Igor Ryabov and Nikolai Mikhailov – some nine months to perfect.

Every now and then we come across a garage that captures our hearts and imagination. This secret garage is one of the coolest that we've seen. Even though the live-in Maserati Ultimate Garage was an architectural marvel, this particular hideaway would make James Bond jealous. Check out the stop-motion images of its hydraulic motor dropping the roof down flush with the ground.

There is not a whole lot to say about this one... There is no technology to discuss, no specs to review, just some good ole' fun. Similar to the bra testing video we showed before but more on target, this one has become a true YouTube sensation. Simple but effective... Check it out after the jump.