Celebrities

No matter the year, you can count on celebrity "news" stories every day. Every day. On rare occassion, those stories are substantive and flattering, but mostly they're just all kinds of humiliating. Here are a few celebrities that are undoubtedly more than happy to welcome in the clean slate known as 2011. Because 2010 didn't go so good for them and their cars.

Thomas Jones' Red Phantom

The first thing almost every NFL player does when they sign their first big contract is go buy the car of their dreams. Then they take that car to one of those custom shops and have them add new rims, seat cushions with their name on it and an Xbox 360. After that they usually call up the Kardashian sisters, tell them to invite a couple of friends and have a car party. It's the coolest part about being an NFL player that they don't show you on Hard Knocks.

Summer is almost over which means the chances of having your car washed by hot girls in bikinis is getting smaller by the day. What makes matters worse is that there are literally thousands of attractive women all over the country who own bikinis that could be washing your car right now, but they're too busy being waitresses or working at The Gap. And if someone can please explain to me why there isn't a national bikini car wash chain that serves free chicken wings while you wait, I'd really appreciate it.