Wagon

The Honda Civic tuning craze is over for most of us. It's done. Dead and gone like Jnco Jeans and Limp Bizkit. Sure, people still do it, just as some people, somewhere, still listen to Limp Bizkit. Probably. Still, unless there's something really crazy going on, there's no reason to spend your time writing endless copy about the ins and outs of a tuned Civic. (Before we go any further: It's ok if you own a tuned Civic. We aren't hating. They're great little cars on an amazingly versatile platform. That said, they aren't exactly the newest craze.) Let this be the exception to that rule.

The car, er cars, in question are two 1991 Honda Civic Wagons, owned by HondaCivicWagon.com member bam-bam. Where others have added Tein suspensions and camber plates, bam-bam has taken his immense mechanical and fabrication skills and applied it to updating and improving his fleet of Civic Wagons. Today, we'll focus on the camping trailer he created from the shell of a clapped-out wagon that happened to be the same color as his DD 1991 Civic Wagon.

To call this car a "wagon" just seems wrong. Sure, it has the shape of an Audi RS6 wagon, but with the amount of power and torque it has, I am declaring this something more. When a 10 year old takes karate, his hands are called, hands. If you study it for 30 years, your hands are lethal weapons. A 9mm Glock, that shoots a bullet, is called a gun. But when the NAVY builds something that shoots 3,000lb. shells up to 26 miles, it's called artillery. The Essing Diesel Tuning RS6 is just that; a 5-door, AWD piece of artillery.

Let me start by saying Essing Diesel Tuning is not the usual German tuner that has been stuffing big power into four-ringed grills since man learned he could pee standing up. They're in the Netherlands; land of bikes, clogs, windmills, tulips...a bit different than Germany, no? They are are also known for their tolerance, a class Germany has to re-take. A shop building this in the Netherlands is like 2 guys in an apartment in San Francisco building the world's biggest monster truck.

For most drug dealers wanting to transport some serious weight, an inconspicuous cargo van or low-key SUV would be the drive of choice. But not everyone uses this same logic. One particular man was recently caught driving 133 mph (213.8 km/h) in an Audi RS6 Avant, (one of the baddest super wagons on the planet) along the stretch between Huelva and Seville in Spain. This in itself might not seem like anything to write home about, but it turns out this bandit was transporting a heavy load of hashish.

Naturally, with a twin-turbo V10 with 580 hp at his disposal, putting on the turn signal and slowly pulling over to the right was not this guy's first thought when the police gave chase. The driver pegged the throttle and moseyed on up to about 149 mph (240 km/h) along a 20 kilometer stretch of the A-49 highway, leaving smokey in the dust. But low and behold, he later hit a traffic jam and his massive engine was no longer an effective tool for evasion. The man took off on foot.

While GM is struggling with...everything, one thing they've gotten right is building a super-sedan; the Cadillac CTS-V. Slaying its more expensive foreign-accented foes left and right, this American four-door with 556 horsepower has shown the world we can make a mean sports sedan. People love super-sedans, and why not? They have the thrill of a sports car and the practicality of a sedan. It's an automotive version of “Kujo.” Why make a journey to Willow Springs only a trip for 2 when it can be done with 4? Well now you can bring your dog too (please don't) because Cadillac will be offering a wagon version of its current family-hauling-brawler. Introducing the Cadillac CTS-V Sport Wagon.

Up until now the “Uber-wagen” was a class of car that GM couldn't compete with. These aren't wood-paneled behemoths or play-it-safe Volvos. These are 500-plus hp, 170mph family-friendly fighter jets. It's a niche that's been dominated by the Germans for years; Mercedes makes the E63 AMG Wagon, BMW makes the M5 Touring, and Audi makes my personal favorite, the beautiful and planetary-rotation-stopping RS6 Avante. Sure, Dodge made the Magnum, but comparing that to an RS6 is to put me at bat against Clemens. It just lacks in too areas to play at that level. But the German cars are brilliant. I think high-horsepower SUVs are useless while these cars exist. They perform better, get better mileage, carry plenty, cost less and look way better. Any of these 3 cars makes a Porsche Cayenne look like a hump-backed leper.