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In times as tumultuous as these, we’d be shocked, to say the very least, if the majority of statisticians didn’t report a noticable uptick in bank heist attempts over the past couple years. And while we obviously don’t endorse criminal activity of any variety, we can’t help wondering if there is such a thing as the perfect getaway car for such a task. Thankfully, it turns out we aren’t the only ones suffering from this perverse curiousity. In fact, the German hoons at GRIP were very, very interested in answering this question.

How do we know this? Well, for starters it appears they commendeered a disused military base complete with town-like sections of buildings and streets to test a vehicle’s agility, plus some long, wide runways for high speed running. Secondly, they’ve assembled a superstar collection of getaway vehicles (tuned models from Audi, Dodge and Porsche), plus one very special police car with which to play the game of cops & robbers about which young gearheads can only dream. So grab some poppin’ corn and make the jump for the video and an explanation of what’s going on, since all the dialogue is auf Deutsch. (Our friends who took Spanish instead in high school are totally jealous right now...maybe.)

In the past the idea of having a track comparison between a BMW M3 and a Ford Mustang GT was about as logical and fair as asking "The Rock" to compete against Jet Li on the Ninja Warrior course. The Rock may be strong, but his agility is lacking. Since its birth the BMW M3 has been known for its handling. It came standard with neautral balance and execellent turn in, with oversteer optional. The Mustang built its name on acceleration. If the muscle car Hall of Fame existed, Ford's pony car would get early admission. But with its live axle, big V8 motor and American upbringing teaching it success lies at the end of a drag strip, it was never seen as a competitor to the Bavarian acrobat. Recently the 2012 Mustang Boss 302 was suggested as a worthy competitor for the M3, but that's a special model that's meant for the track. Surely the plain Jane Mustang GT wouldn't stand a chance.

The good people at Motor Trend beg to differ. They think the 2011 Ford Mustang GT is a very good car. So good, it may have the skills and tools necessary to venture into the ring with a competitor that no one would expect: the 2011 BMW M3. This is a fight that has never happened. Some called MT crazy for even suggesting the Mustang even good enough to park next to an M3. Is the new Mustang that good, or was Motor Trend just trying to sell some paper? Make the jump to watch the video, and see who is left standing.

Mercedes-Benz’s SL65 AMG Black Series is, let’s face it, already 58 kinds of bat guano. With 670hp, 738 lb.-ft of torque, flared fenders to accommodate larger rolling stock and a fixed roof to improve chassis rigidity, it’s the automotive equivalent of someone who really should be fitted for a straitjacket. But what if that’s not bonkers enough for you? What if you want the automotive equivalent of someone who ought to be strapped in bed and on a slow drip of heavy sedatives?

German tuner MKB may just have something that fits the bill in the form of the P1000. This little number is based on the aforementioned SL65 AMG Black Series, but has been fitted with some enhancements that up the lunacy quotient. The most attention-getting of these upgrades, naturally, lie under the big white hood, and pump the 6.0L twin-turbo V12 up to a just-this-side-of-adequate 1,015hp. How’d they get that kind of number? Make like the readouts on the dyno and jump!

Introduced in 2004, the Mercedes CLS made a profound statement by telling the world you can have four doors and eat your coupe too. Nowadays the four-door coupe can be found in numerous dealerships, but Mercedes was the first one to plant the flag. Living in Los Angeles there's no shortage of the latest and greatest cars to be seen. In fact, in this city it seems there was a law passed stating if you own a Mercedes, it can only be the latest model. So, rich folks rejoice... Introducing the 2012 Mercedes-Benz CLS. Watch out Mr. Rapide and Mr. Quattroporte, the Godfather has returned. 

The front of the last CLS was one of the simplest yet more stylish designs out of the Stuttgart in a long time. It was very clean and neat, and oozed power without looking like a robot or a gap-mouthed cat fish. It looked capable of eating both road and travelers alike. But when you call a car a four-door coupe, the most important view is from 90 degrees: the profile. Coupes are known for their long hoods and short, sloping decks, which is hard to replicate without requiring rear-seat passengers to be under 5 feet tall. By using pillar-less windows and slopes that extends from the C-pillar through the trunk, the essence of a coupe is retained. While the old CLS had a great profile, the sheet metal was fairly flat. 2012 is apparently the year of the crease, with several of them running along the CLS' flanks.

The Ferrari California is, like any model to emerge from the Maranello plant since, say, the shiver-worthy 348, a brilliant car. Unfortunately, that doesn’t change the fact that the latest “starter Ferrari” was practically born to be purchased by rodent-sized-canine-owning celebrities who neither know nor care about the car’s thousands of engineering man-hours or the storied marque’s extensive competition record both past and present. (“Fernando Alonso? He’s, like, an opera singer, right?”)

This pre-installed stigma is bad juju for types of true enthusiasts who would buy this car. You know, the folks who wake up at stupid o’clock in the morning to watch Formula 1 live on Speed and can appreciate technology like the direct-injected 4.3L V8 and available 7-speed double-clutch transmission, because the gearhead of lesser means who sees them cruising down the street will tend to assume the person behind the wheel thinks "Imola" is the name of a meat-borne pathogen and merely bought a California because it’s a convertible and it has a back seat on which to place the pet carrier of Aphrodite, their Mexican Hairless.

Many, many inches of headline are dedicated to the battle for the title of fastest street-legal production car. For the better part of a decade, the McLaren F1 had a chokehold on the record. Then the Bugatti Veyron came along and bumped the number higher, only to be usurped by the red, white and blew-by-you SSC Ultimate Aero. Now the top spot is held by Bugatti once more, thanks to the Veyron Super Sport, though Shelby Supercars and Koenigsegg both claim they’ll have new challengers ready shortly.

Unfortunately, the near-constant one-upsmanship in the quest for the overall fastest street car mark has pushed other similar races to the sidelines, namely the battle for the fastest sedan in the world. After all, who doesn’t love the thought of blasting down the Autobahn with three or four of your closest friends with Wagner’s “Ride of the Valkyries” filling the cabin? Probably people who aren’t cool enough to be reading this site and would probably find NPR.org more their speed. Anyway, the latest four-door that is staking a claim to the mantle of fastest of the breed is German tuner G-Power’s current reimagining of the outgoing E60 generation BMW M5, the Hurricane RR.

The phrase, "I'm going to get the new Boss 302 next year." hasn't been said since 1969. 1970 was the last year the Ford Mustang Boss 302 was sold. It was a lightweight, high-powered car made to compete in Trans Am racing. It was built to take on the Camaro, which had won the series for two years running. The Boss 302 changed that, winning the championship in 1970.

And now it's back. Ford has announced the 2012 Mustang Boss 302. 40 years ago the Boss had its sites trained on the Camaro and the Trans-Am Championship and it conquered both. This time its sights are set a little higher than the latest Camaro. Make the jump to check out the specs, and watch teaser videos.

A few weeks ago we caught our first glimpse of Ferrari’s newest V8 powered spec racer, the 458 Challenge. We licked our chops at its reduced weight, firmer suspension and tweaked electronic driver aids relative to the street version and how all those changes would add to the car’s ferociousness. But numbers can only tell us so much; visuals do a much better job of conveying how quick (or slow) something is.

How convenient, then, that some intrepid car spies recently managed to catch some 458 Challenge test mules hot lapping Ferrari’s Fiorano private test track. A cursory glance at how fast they move through the scenery indicates these prototypes are quite fast. Like, a scant two-tenths of a second slower than the FXX fast. The soundtrack, on the other hand, is something of a disappointment. Whether this is a function of background noise, distance from the mic or whatever, it just doesn’t…well…watch the video after the jump and you’ll hear what we mean.